nothing left to do but waste my time...

there is something therapeutic about parks. I stumbled upon this park a few minutes away from campus and it had this pond surrounded by trees and bushes that were changing from green to vivid oranges and yellows, which reflected in the calm waters of the pond. I was having a horrible week, but once I saw this pond I knew everything was going to be okay. I felt content. I felt calm. happy, even. Its strange, but I love just sitting in parks alone. I feel so connected. I know that may not make sense. It just feels safe and right. I love the feeling of sunshine in my face. Today all the sunshine literally wiped the tears from my face. I wish I had more time in my schedule to just sit. Really sit. I love being outside alone with my thoughts. Maybe there's more to life than Cognitive Processes exams, Mental Health papers, dinner specials and night shifts. Maybe after four years of college I won't be complete or an adult or educated or whatever you're supposed to be. Maybe I'll just be someone. Just like everyone else and at the same completely different. 

I love fall, I really do. It reminds me of the life cycle and how beautiful death can be. Time is limited, but I want to go out like the leaves on the trees. During brightest most beautiful chapter of my life. 

Don't look ahead, just run to me Each step will find the next one recklessly We'll find ourselves on the safest ledge Well pardon me, I couldn't help myself Girl, fall into your life here If only for a while, I'm here Could you be happy to fall like a stone If you'd land right here safe in my arms? It's fine, lock all your doors through the night Keep it all right here, safe in my arms It's fine, it's fine You felt alone before you ever really knew how alone you were An empty house, a lonely room The TV talks the fear right out of you But you feel like someone's standing by but you'll never know Could you be happy to fall like a stone If you'd land right here safe in my arms? It's fine, lock all your doors through the night Keep it all right here, safe in my arms It's fine The sun burns a hole straight through your old flaws If you look toward the sky even on your greyest night Could you be happy now, with the wind in your hair And your eyes open wide and your feet going nowhere? Could you be happy to fall like a stone If you'd land right here safe in my arms? It's fine, lock all your doors through the night Keep it all right here, safe in my arms It's fine

i need to learn how to pass a cognitive processes test.

failure is not an option.

so i finally got my macbook! i love it.

school is stressing me out, but what is new.

work sucks. i never make enough money.

katie and i are having a party next weekend.

so that should be fun/insanely time consuming.

basically, ryan is trying to make me watch the strangers and i want to avoid it,

therefore this update was born.

helterskelter = ew.

I can officially announce it now: in May I will have a Bachelors of Science in Psychology.
It is the greatest accomplishment of my short life. Next month I will be inducted into the National Honor Society of Psychology.

My final semester at NKU will look like this:
PSY 338L Cognitive Processes Lab TR 12:15-1:30
HSR 305 Assessment/Appraisal TR 1:40-2:55
HSR 314 Death, Dying, Grief T 6:15-9
PHE 108 Beginning Conditioning MWF 9-9:50
PSY 3?? Industrial/Organizational Psychology WEB
HSR 340 Alcoholism Issues WEB
PSC 100 American Politics WEB

I'll have to cut back on working, but I can manage.

Amanda, Katie & I might move to Covington in Spring/Summer. It would be such a huge scary step, but I'm ready for more adventures. :] I see them about 2-3 times a week lately (christin included). This is something that warms my heart. I just wish Savannah was still around. I wish she could enjoy time with us (or me really) just like old times. But things have changed so much and I don't know where to start.

Erin is back in school. I've never been so proud of her. She really wants it this time around. She'll excel as a nurse. I just know it. She really is a lovely person, inside and out. I'm blessed to have her as a sister.
Kevin is struggling in school still. I keep hoping that he'll straighten out, but he's always been more of an Erin than a Lauren, so maybe he just needs some time off or something. I miss him now that he's not around, that's just how it always is.

long story short = :]