nothing left to do but waste my time...

there is something therapeutic about parks. I stumbled upon this park a few minutes away from campus and it had this pond surrounded by trees and bushes that were changing from green to vivid oranges and yellows, which reflected in the calm waters of the pond. I was having a horrible week, but once I saw this pond I knew everything was going to be okay. I felt content. I felt calm. happy, even. Its strange, but I love just sitting in parks alone. I feel so connected. I know that may not make sense. It just feels safe and right. I love the feeling of sunshine in my face. Today all the sunshine literally wiped the tears from my face. I wish I had more time in my schedule to just sit. Really sit. I love being outside alone with my thoughts. Maybe there's more to life than Cognitive Processes exams, Mental Health papers, dinner specials and night shifts. Maybe after four years of college I won't be complete or an adult or educated or whatever you're supposed to be. Maybe I'll just be someone. Just like everyone else and at the same completely different. 

I love fall, I really do. It reminds me of the life cycle and how beautiful death can be. Time is limited, but I want to go out like the leaves on the trees. During brightest most beautiful chapter of my life.